Wednesday, July 27, 2011

What I Can Do When I Finally Find Employment

Preparing for the life you will have before you've even had an interview for a job is all the rage right now. In the spirit of poultry economics, I am going to list out all the amazing things I can do once I'm awesomely employed.

  • Continue volunteering during the evenings at Jabbok Family Services
  • Move to a bigger apartment (possibly the adorable ones one block off from here)
  • Go to Disney World
  • Adopt a corgi
  • Feast on raspberries whenever I darn well please
  • Shop without a ton of guilt
  • Pay off credit card debt
  • Get fat off of baklava
  • Spoil Jared rotten with all the PS3 games he can shake a controller at
  • Go to a concert (Deathcab will be here late August)
  • Network with coworkers 
  • Buy a Halloween costume
  • Get a bus pass (yay!)
  • Take dance classes
  • Leap tall buildings in a single bound 
  • Go three rounds with Rocky Balboa
  • Party like it's 1999
  • Live a lush life of affluence
  • Spend my invisi-children's college funds on gambling and booze
  • Buy myself a little something ... like a watch, a necklace... or a yacht
  • Bring powdered wigs back into fashion 
  • Use all that commute time on the bus to read Hunger Games and Harry Potter
  • Replace that PS3 controller Jared broke from all that shaking
  • Own a replica of a mastodon, or dig up a frozen one and reanimate it
  • Use reanimated mastodon as primary transportation
  • Eat a lot of pizza
  • Have name legally changed to "Your Majesty"
  • Hang out with BeyoncĂ©
  • Become a one-hit wonder
  • Write a list that goes on far too long
  • Challenge Katie Binning to a gun show
  • Block out the sun, Mr. Burns style
  • Create a super hero costume that functions in everyday life
  • Create insane platform and run for Republican office
  • Learn to love Cheetos

The employed care not for your horse power.

Sorry to all those searching for a gif of a corgi in a mastodon costume eating Cheetos.

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