Thursday, July 7, 2011

A Very Fantasy Fluff Piece

David Boreanaz as Angel in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and self-titled spin-off Angel was the Taylor Lautner of his generation. I really don't have empirical, matter-of-fact evidence about this. But, this is my blog, and I can say whatever I want.

Angel (aka Angelous) was a hottie bo-body, two-hundred year old vampire with an angelic face, square jaw and a six pack that puts all existing, human abs to shame. He killed this one Romani chick and was sentenced to suffering the rest of existence with a soul (a problem many people can relate to.) Previously, he was a full-on blood sucking, tribe destroying ANIMAL. For the sake of Science, here is a photo of his abs... and the rest of him.


Admittedly, I don't know much about the character Taylor Lautner plays in these Twilight movies. Mostly, because it takes all of my paying attention brain cells to stop my jaw from dislocating and my tongue pouring out of my mouth. Proudly, I can tell you that sometimes he morphs into a wolf sometimes. I know this, because dogs without shirts don't make me subtract 1992 from the current year. And I have never looked up a shirt-less wolf's age on IMDB. Although, sometimes I wonder how old Rocko from Rocko's Modern Life is.... but that's a wallaby and very off topic. Back to the subject at hand:

WTF Hormones!?

Given a little online research, I have found that Lautner and his starring role Jacob are both into older women. And, given the very obvious that Angel is a 200 year old vampire that never ages and digs high school chicks, I think I can say he's into younger ladies. I think I fall within the age spectrum of both Angel and Jacob.

Graphically, it doesn't make sense. Graphs can't stop true lust.

Now... to work on being moody and my pre-attack puns.

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