Thursday, July 28, 2011

Timeline: What I Want to be When I Grow Up

When we were out at the cottage for July 4th, Jared's dad said that when he was young he wanted to be a hotel manager. I thought this was very strange. And it was made even stranger, because his current job trumps hotel manager by far. I have always had a hard time with goals and aspirations, but I've always had a dream job. This will be a short timeline of all the dream jobs I have had with a short blurb about them.

Robot: 1992-Present

When I was a young warthog girl, my mother would send me to Little Lighthouse Day Care. I have fond childhood memories of faking to nap, starting a battle of the sexes that resulted in tears, and an attention-grabbing tale of kicking a boy firmly between the legs. During this time, I insisted on wearing a pink windbreaker that was so tight I couldn't bend my arms. Given this uncomfortable position, I had to make an important decision: penguin or robot. From that day on, I have loved these metal men. I dance the robot; I drink from a robot bottle; I cheer on the Cylons.

Astronaut: 1996-1998
I've never been too interested in space. I've always been very interested in a zero gravity environment and awesome reflective helmets. My obvious career path was to be an Astronaut. Now, I just want to go in one of those vertical wind tunnels. This seems like a much better choice than being the best of the best and training for years to drink tang with chimps. --- I wonder where I'd need to go to just jump right in and drink tang with chimps.

Acrobat: 1999-2001
My mom hung ropes in our tree in the backyard. My friend Katie and I would swing from rope to rope accumulating blisters and knee scrapes. We were training to be in a travelling circus. I wanted to swing from high ropes over a safety net and ride an elephant in my off hours... or possibly play poker with the bears that ride unicycles.

Psychologist: 2003-2006
As an adolescent, I was very troubled. I wanted to become a psychologist to figure out what was wrong with me. It turns out that college provides those services for free, so I didn't need to put in all the leg work.

PR Representative: 2006
My major freshman year was business. I didn't want a business degree, but that's what my step-dad wanted for me. I thought I would become a PR Representative or a Marketing Researcher to incorporate both my interest in Psychology and Art

Art Teacher: 2008
When I figured out that I no longer lived with my parents and was free to do whatever I pleased, I switched my major to Art Education. I like kids. I like art. This could be a match! Then, I visited high school campuses, and hated it. I felt like kids took art as a blow off class, and teachers gave high marks out of obligation. I'm not a very good bureaucratic.

Artist: 2008-2009
I switched majors again to studio art. I enjoyed the classes more, but burnt out after a year of class 8 am to 5 pm and staying until 3 am to work on not sucking. I became more lax with my studies my senior year and realized that it was very unlikely for me to make it as an artist. I had no drive and no passion to produce.

Social Worker: 2009-2010
I was done with my art degree a year early, but didn't want to graduate at 20. I began taking psychology and women's studies classes. I was very interested in becoming a social worker... until I took a class that told me it was dangerous, stressful and didn't pay well. I'll pass.

Awesome: 1988-Present

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